Saturday, August 10, 2013

I'm with the Band

When I was little, I had this t-shirt that I liked to wear which had "I'm with the band" printed on the front in blue sparkly letters. I never really understood it. Why was that saying significant enough to put on a t-shirt? And why did I own a shirt that said it? It really didn't make any sense to me until this past week when I found myself walking up to the front of the queue in C venues-a glamorous  multilevel theatre building used for the Fringe Festival-and saying to the kind lady behind the desk, "Excuse me, I don't have my pass yet, but I'm performing here. I'd like free tickets to this next show." That's right, miss, I'm with the band.

I've been in Edinburgh only one week, but it already feels like an eternity, like this has been my whole life. Up at 9:30 for rehearsal until lunch, cooking in a crammed little kitchen with a dozen other girls who I adore, more rehearsing for the rest of the afternoon with the occasional break that I spend walking through the bustling streets of Edinburgh and up breathtaking hills that overlook the city, and then of course finishing the day around 11 or 12 after hours more of rehearsing, with the occasional trip to a restaurant or bar with the girls. What a life!

This past week has been especially consumed with rehearsing in preparation for our show starting tomorrow. It feels like all we do is eat, sleep (sometimes) and sing. It's been a lot of work, but its been good. And tonight we were able to give Edinburgh a sneak peak of the results of all our hard work.  We performed a short little set at an A Cappella Sing Off with an all boys a cappella group called Semitoned. They were hilarious. We were hilarious. Both groups sang like gods. A good time was had by all.

I'm feeling rather overwhelmed by the magic of all this. It's hard for me to take in how absolutely Beautiful everything is around me: the city, our apartment, the venues, the hills, and, most of all, my wonderful friends who I get to spend everyday with (it's kinda like a never ending sleepover). I know I've done nothing to deserve this influx of Beauty in my life, but I'm grateful, humbled and grateful.

Tomorrow starts the beginning of our 2 week run at the fringe. It hardly seems possible that we've done so much singing and dancing and still haven't even put on a full show, but I know tomorrow is going to be incredible. My girls are the greatest thing since sliced bread and I'm so proud to be part of this group. So, Tomorrow, here's to you...

Sunday, August 4, 2013

On the Road Again

So, I'm in the airport in Halifax, Canada, with free wifi (praise him), waiting 3 hours for my next flight which will take me back to the enchanted lands of Great Britain.

That didn't take long, am I right?

I know what you're thinking. Didn't I just get back? I live in New York, right? Am I ever there? What am I doing in England AGAIN? Great questions. Allow me to shed some light on that.

Remember a couple posts ago (like... lots of posts ago) I mentioned that my a cappella group from Oxford was going to be singing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival? Yah, we are. It's too cool. Back when I originally mentioned the Fringe, I was under the impression that it would be impossible for me to join in on this  getaway. However, my wonderful parents thankfully talked some sense into me and made me realize that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that i couldn't pass up....and that eating ramen noodles for a year in order to pay for it would totally not be that bad.

So here I am-eccomi! as they say in Italian- waiting in the airport. Waiting to go back to the land of castles and princes, amazing public transportation and enchanting accents and most importantly, sheep!! So cool.  I should be so pumped, right?

I am. And yet...

I  heard this song on the radio the other day and it put words to a feeling that has been squirming in my heart lately.

"One more [post] about moving along the highway. Can't say much of anything that's new. If I could only work this life out my way. I'd rather spend it being close to you" (So Far Away by Carol King)

For the most part, when I tell people about my adventures and my travels their reaction is comparable to "Oh my gosh that's the coolest thing ever! You're so lucky! How awesome! I hate you but that's so awesome!"

I agree with people who tell me it's awesome, but I can't help in those moments to think also about all the collateral damage of my traveling.

As a result of living in so many different places, I have met and fallen in love with so many people who are always "just so far away." And I don't just mean fall in love in a romantic sense. I mean that I have invested my heart and soul into people who have invested in me and changed my heart and life as a result.  These people who I love so much that I'd give my life for their happiness are always so far away. And they're all in such different places that even when I'm traveling to be with some of them, I'm leaving others behind me with tears and good-byes.

I don't hate traveling. I love it, I do. And I'm so thankful for this opportunity to travel again, but "if I could only work this life out my way, I'd rather spend it being close to you," all of you who've stolen my heart and made anywhere without you feel not quite right.

I'm leaving again. Leaving all I love about Rochester and Boston. But I'll be back. Only to once again leave all that I love about England behind me. It doesn't seem like there's a way to win in this one...but a good (and brilliant) friend of mine once told me that when I find myself in a lose-lose situation, I've created a false dichotomy for myself. Maybe I've just gotta keep working towards finding a way to win. Maybe just maybe someday it won't be so hard...

But for now, I'll just continue to juggle my uncontrollable excitement for my upcoming adventure with the grave sadness that accompanies inevitable good-byes...