Sunday, December 4, 2011

A Leather Couch in a Treehouse

When I was a little kid growing up, I always wanted a treehouse. I love climbing trees and always have, and I figured if I could live in a tree house, I could be in trees incessantly and never have to come down. I never got a real treehouse when I was little, but I never stopped imagining what it would be like to have one.

This past week at college, I have been experiencing a serious sleep deficit. It's getting very close to finals week, and I have been consumed with a plethora of unwanted worries and concerns. When I've not been stressing out over the large papers I have to write and the junior level tests I have to take, I've been spending as much time as possible with my beautiful friends to assuage my anxiety. 

I always knew friends had an important role in a person's life, but until this year, I don't think I ever really understood why. The title "friend" is often times used loosely, but when we use it, we are usually trying to convey very different messages. When I was younger, I remember my dad talking about this message that he really liked from the pastor TD Jakeswhich talked about how people hold one of three roles in our life - they're either a constituent, comrade, or confidante. A constituent, like in a political sense (Thank you, McKenzie), is someone who isn't necessarily devoted to you, but they are devoted to something that you are also devoted to. For example, if you are adamant about being a good student, a constituent would come along side you and work with you to strive towards that same goal. However, if someone else came along who was also working towards that goal that could help your constituent better, he or she wouldn't think much about stepping out of your life to band with another person. We often call these people our friends even though it often isn't warranted. Likewise, a comrade is someone who isn't necessarily devoted to you or what you're devoted to, but they are against what you are against. When there is an enemy to defeat, this person comes along side you and works with you, but when you achieve victory (or if the fight becomes irrelevant), you can expect these people to also walk out of your life. Now, I know so far these don't seem very positive, but the fact of the matter is, a lot of people in your life will be constituents or comrades. We call these people our friends, but you have to be careful not to expect them to stay around forever. It just isn't realistic to expect all of your "friends" to be BFFs! It's ok to have people come in and out of your life. There's a time and a season for everything.

Now, unlike these first 2 categories of people that we often call our friends, there is a last category that is crucial to acknowledge. These are the people you can really call friends. These are your confidants. Confidants are the friends that you know will always be there no matter what. They love you on good days and bad days. They know what you stand for and against and they love you whether they agree with you or not. These are the friends that stick closer than a brother. The ones that love you unconditionally no matter how many times you've messed up. The friends that will sit with you for hours to listen while you pour your heart out; and when you need a little pick-me-up, they always know exactly how to make you smile. If you've had friends like this, you know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, just wait. Don't try to force someone to be a confidante. I promise real ones will come along! And trust me, they're worth waiting for.

I know this because after lots of waiting, I finally have a group of people that I can confidently call my friends. I couldn't have handpicked a more wonderful group of friends. Every single one of them adds to my life in the most beautiful way, and they probably don't even know it! I don't know how I could've gotten through this season in my life without them. I thank Jesus for them every single day, and I will continue to be thankful for them for the rest of my life. They love me when I'm being a stressed-out, overly emotional Italian girl, and when I'm half asleep and blabbering about making a treehouse with leather couches in the middle of the quad. Moral of the story is, my friends are amazing and I would be lost (and possibly living in a treehouse in the middle of the quad) without them! :) 



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