Is that normal?

Well, here I am back in Rochester. Since I've been home I've done all the usual things - wrestle with my little brother while he tries to eat my cheek, have 6 simultaneous conversations at the dinner table with my family of 5, jump through windows to sneak into my old high school, late night lunge down the valley trail, and write songs about the French Revolution to study for an AP World History test with my little sister. It's all the same in a day in the life of me! It's so good to be back home doing "normal" things, but sometimes I can't help but stop and ask myself, is this really normal?


My senior year in high school, I took an Italian class with my lovely friend Lishi. We got up every other morning at 6:30 am (give or take) to drive to Italian with a bunch of students who we didn't know and who were way more advanced in Italian than we were. It was quite the adventure.... One of the first days of class, our teacher gave us a sheet of adjectives and asked us to pick out a few that described us and write them on a name tag. On the sheet was the word "convenzionale" which you might be able to guess means conventional. When we got to that word, Lish and I just looked at each other and laughed, "Ha! Us? Conventional? No way!" That sorta became our goal for senior year: attempt to be as unconventional as possible.


When I got to college I discovered this new phenomenon known as "being hipster." The concept is very much the same as Lishi's and mine - be as unconventional as you can! If that means wearing oversized ugly sweaters, you go out and buy 6 of them! If that means wearing large glasses with no lenses, then you buy some in hot pink AND blue. I'm not trying to poke fun at people who like being hipster. In fact, I think it's a pretty cool style, but I find it interesting that by attempting to be unconventional, hipsters end up being just like everybody else who's wearing oversized sweaters and big glasses with no lenses. (Especially at my college where pretty much 80% of the student body is "hipster")


C.S. Lewis once said "No man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it." In  everyone are gifts and a personality that are unique to each person. We all have destinies that are different than the people around us. We have been fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who knows the plans He has for each of us! (Psalms 139:14, Jeremiah 29:11). If that's the case, why is it that everyone always tries so hard to be original? Isn't just being yourself original enough?


When I started thinking about this in the context of Christmas, which is just around the corner, it hit me. Jesus was totally the only true hipster. Really, think about it. First of all, He was born of a virgin! How many people do you know that can claim that?? Then, He was born in a stable. Pretty unconventional if you ask me. And I mean, I'm not sure about anybody else, but I didn't get a choir of angels announcing my birth! Jesus was so original it's hard to even comprehend some of the things He did, but He wasn't trying to be unconventional. He was just following the will of the Father and living out the plan that was set for His life. What would our lives look like if each of us decided to focus on the plan God has for us rather than on being "original"?   


I've come to find that I'm the most unconventional in the moments when I don't care how I compare to other people. Worrying about being the same as everyone else only makes you miss out on enjoying being yourself. When I'm home with my family, I don't have to try to be beyond normal. It happens on a regular basis here at the Constantine house! But I wouldn't have it any other way. It's who we are, who I am, and I love it. I don't have to go out and change my style or say strange catch phrases or drink tea a lot to be original. Being original is about so much more than not being like everyone else. It's about not letting anyone or anything else keep you from being who God made you to be. Sometimes all it takes is the decision to stop looking at yourself the way people see you, and start looking at yourself the way God sees you. Let's be honest, He thinks you're FANTASTIC!! It's time we lived like it!

A Leather Couch in a Treehouse

When I was a little kid growing up, I always wanted a treehouse. I love climbing trees and always have, and I figured if I could live in a tree house, I could be in trees incessantly and never have to come down. I never got a real treehouse when I was little, but I never stopped imagining what it would be like to have one.

This past week at college, I have been experiencing a serious sleep deficit. It's getting very close to finals week, and I have been consumed with a plethora of unwanted worries and concerns. When I've not been stressing out over the large papers I have to write and the junior level tests I have to take, I've been spending as much time as possible with my beautiful friends to assuage my anxiety. 

I always knew friends had an important role in a person's life, but until this year, I don't think I ever really understood why. The title "friend" is often times used loosely, but when we use it, we are usually trying to convey very different messages. When I was younger, I remember my dad talking about this message that he really liked from the pastor TD Jakes, which talked about how people hold one of three roles in our life - they're either a constituent, comrade, or confidante. A constituent, like in a political sense (Thank you, McKenzie), is someone who isn't necessarily devoted to you, but they are devoted to something that you are also devoted to. For example, if you are adamant about being a good student, a constituent would come along side you and work with you to strive towards that same goal. However, if someone else came along who was also working towards that goal that could help your constituent better, he or she wouldn't think much about stepping out of your life to band with another person. We often call these people our friends even though it often isn't warranted. Likewise, a comrade is someone who isn't necessarily devoted to you or what you're devoted to, but they are against what you are against. When there is an enemy to defeat, this person comes along side you and works with you, but when you achieve victory (or if the fight becomes irrelevant), you can expect these people to also walk out of your life. Now, I know so far these don't seem very positive, but the fact of the matter is, a lot of people in your life will be constituents or comrades. We call these people our friends, but you have to be careful not to expect them to stay around forever. It just isn't realistic to expect all of your "friends" to be BFFs! It's ok to have people come in and out of your life. There's a time and a season for everything.

Now, unlike these first 2 categories of people that we often call our friends, there is a last category that is crucial to acknowledge. These are the people you can really call friends. These are your confidants. Confidants are the friends that you know will always be there no matter what. They love you on good days and bad days. They know what you stand for and against and they love you whether they agree with you or not. These are the friends that stick closer than a brother. The ones that love you unconditionally no matter how many times you've messed up. The friends that will sit with you for hours to listen while you pour your heart out; and when you need a little pick-me-up, they always know exactly how to make you smile. If you've had friends like this, you know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, just wait. Don't try to force someone to be a confidante. I promise real ones will come along! And trust me, they're worth waiting for.

I know this because after lots of waiting, I finally have a group of people that I can confidently call my friends. I couldn't have handpicked a more wonderful group of friends. Every single one of them adds to my life in the most beautiful way, and they probably don't even know it! I don't know how I could've gotten through this season in my life without them. I thank Jesus for them every single day, and I will continue to be thankful for them for the rest of my life. They love me when I'm being a stressed-out, overly emotional Italian girl, and when I'm half asleep and blabbering about making a treehouse with leather couches in the middle of the quad. Moral of the story is, my friends are amazing and I would be lost (and possibly living in a treehouse in the middle of the quad) without them! :)