Well, here I am back in Rochester. Since I've been home I've done all the usual things - wrestle with my little brother while he tries to eat my cheek, have 6 simultaneous conversations at the dinner table with my family of 5, jump through windows to sneak into my old high school, late night lunge down the valley trail, and write songs about the French Revolution to study for an AP World History test with my little sister. It's all the same in a day in the life of me! It's so good to be back home doing "normal" things, but sometimes I can't help but stop and ask myself, is this really normal?
My senior year in high school, I took an Italian class with my lovely friend Lishi. We got up every other morning at 6:30 am (give or take) to drive to Italian with a bunch of students who we didn't know and who were way more advanced in Italian than we were. It was quite the adventure.... One of the first days of class, our teacher gave us a sheet of adjectives and asked us to pick out a few that described us and write them on a name tag. On the sheet was the word "convenzionale" which you might be able to guess means conventional. When we got to that word, Lish and I just looked at each other and laughed, "Ha! Us? Conventional? No way!" That sorta became our goal for senior year: attempt to be as unconventional as possible.
When I got to college I discovered this new phenomenon known as "being hipster." The concept is very much the same as Lishi's and mine - be as unconventional as you can! If that means wearing oversized ugly sweaters, you go out and buy 6 of them! If that means wearing large glasses with no lenses, then you buy some in hot pink AND blue. I'm not trying to poke fun at people who like being hipster. In fact, I think it's a pretty cool style, but I find it interesting that by attempting to be unconventional, hipsters end up being just like everybody else who's wearing oversized sweaters and big glasses with no lenses. (Especially at my college where pretty much 80% of the student body is "hipster")
C.S. Lewis once said "No man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it." In everyone are gifts and a personality that are unique to each person. We all have destinies that are different than the people around us. We have been fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who knows the plans He has for each of us! (Psalms 139:14, Jeremiah 29:11). If that's the case, why is it that everyone always tries so hard to be original? Isn't just being yourself original enough?
When I started thinking about this in the context of Christmas, which is just around the corner, it hit me. Jesus was totally the only true hipster. Really, think about it. First of all, He was born of a virgin! How many people do you know that can claim that?? Then, He was born in a stable. Pretty unconventional if you ask me. And I mean, I'm not sure about anybody else, but I didn't get a choir of angels announcing my birth! Jesus was so original it's hard to even comprehend some of the things He did, but He wasn't trying to be unconventional. He was just following the will of the Father and living out the plan that was set for His life. What would our lives look like if each of us decided to focus on the plan God has for us rather than on being "original"?
I've come to find that I'm the most unconventional in the moments when I don't care how I compare to other people. Worrying about being the same as everyone else only makes you miss out on enjoying being yourself. When I'm home with my family, I don't have to try to be beyond normal. It happens on a regular basis here at the Constantine house! But I wouldn't have it any other way. It's who we are, who I am, and I love it. I don't have to go out and change my style or say strange catch phrases or drink tea a lot to be original. Being original is about so much more than not being like everyone else. It's about not letting anyone or anything else keep you from being who God made you to be. Sometimes all it takes is the decision to stop looking at yourself the way people see you, and start looking at yourself the way God sees you. Let's be honest, He thinks you're FANTASTIC!! It's time we lived like it!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A Leather Couch in a Treehouse
When I was a little kid growing up, I always wanted a treehouse. I love climbing trees and always have, and I figured if I could live in a tree house, I could be in trees incessantly and never have to come down. I never got a real treehouse when I was little, but I never stopped imagining what it would be like to have one.
This past week at college, I have been experiencing a serious sleep deficit. It's getting very close to finals week, and I have been consumed with a plethora of unwanted worries and concerns. When I've not been stressing out over the large papers I have to write and the junior level tests I have to take, I've been spending as much time as possible with my beautiful friends to assuage my anxiety.
I always knew friends had an important role in a person's life, but until this year, I don't think I ever really understood why. The title "friend" is often times used loosely, but when we use it, we are usually trying to convey very different messages. When I was younger, I remember my dad talking about this message that he really liked from the pastor TD Jakes, which talked about how people hold one of three roles in our life - they're either a constituent, comrade, or confidante. A constituent, like in a political sense (Thank you, McKenzie), is someone who isn't necessarily devoted to you, but they are devoted to something that you are also devoted to. For example, if you are adamant about being a good student, a constituent would come along side you and work with you to strive towards that same goal. However, if someone else came along who was also working towards that goal that could help your constituent better, he or she wouldn't think much about stepping out of your life to band with another person. We often call these people our friends even though it often isn't warranted. Likewise, a comrade is someone who isn't necessarily devoted to you or what you're devoted to, but they are against what you are against. When there is an enemy to defeat, this person comes along side you and works with you, but when you achieve victory (or if the fight becomes irrelevant), you can expect these people to also walk out of your life. Now, I know so far these don't seem very positive, but the fact of the matter is, a lot of people in your life will be constituents or comrades. We call these people our friends, but you have to be careful not to expect them to stay around forever. It just isn't realistic to expect all of your "friends" to be BFFs! It's ok to have people come in and out of your life. There's a time and a season for everything.
Now, unlike these first 2 categories of people that we often call our friends, there is a last category that is crucial to acknowledge. These are the people you can really call friends. These are your confidants. Confidants are the friends that you know will always be there no matter what. They love you on good days and bad days. They know what you stand for and against and they love you whether they agree with you or not. These are the friends that stick closer than a brother. The ones that love you unconditionally no matter how many times you've messed up. The friends that will sit with you for hours to listen while you pour your heart out; and when you need a little pick-me-up, they always know exactly how to make you smile. If you've had friends like this, you know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, just wait. Don't try to force someone to be a confidante. I promise real ones will come along! And trust me, they're worth waiting for.
I know this because after lots of waiting, I finally have a group of people that I can confidently call my friends. I couldn't have handpicked a more wonderful group of friends. Every single one of them adds to my life in the most beautiful way, and they probably don't even know it! I don't know how I could've gotten through this season in my life without them. I thank Jesus for them every single day, and I will continue to be thankful for them for the rest of my life. They love me when I'm being a stressed-out, overly emotional Italian girl, and when I'm half asleep and blabbering about making a treehouse with leather couches in the middle of the quad. Moral of the story is, my friends are amazing and I would be lost (and possibly living in a treehouse in the middle of the quad) without them! :)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
This Thing Called College....
It turns out that blogging is something that pretty awesome people do here at the college I go to now, and although I have not been very faithful to my blog, I have decided to be more like my amazing new friends. College has given me many new things to write about, and this way all you lovely people from New York (Especially you, Mommy!) can keep tabs on what I'm doing here.
For all of you that don't know, I'm going to college in Massachusetts now. It's super fantastic in almost every way. One of the only reasons it's not is because I'm 7 hours away from my beautiful family. Waiting weeks and weeks to get my Momma's kisses is pretty rough. However, I'm enjoying my time here very much. I'm taking awesome classes and I have some pretty great teachers. Now I must admit, those things are great, but my favorite part of college is definitely the beautiful new group of friends that I've made here! (I'll write more about them later)
People always say that college is a huge step towards becoming "who you are," but I think it just takes a huge shift in your life - like college - to help you realize what matters most. Once you realize the things that matter most in life, it's easy to be yourself. And once you know who you are, you get to experiment and see what kinds of things you want to pursue with your life. There are so many options! And college is a really cool place to try out the different options. Tomorrow I think I'm going to try out being a pyromaniac... Just kidding :) All that to say, I've learned a lot of important things the last few months being here at college, but I'm still me. And I can't wait to find out what else I'll discover down this road. I'll keep you posted!
For all of you that don't know, I'm going to college in Massachusetts now. It's super fantastic in almost every way. One of the only reasons it's not is because I'm 7 hours away from my beautiful family. Waiting weeks and weeks to get my Momma's kisses is pretty rough. However, I'm enjoying my time here very much. I'm taking awesome classes and I have some pretty great teachers. Now I must admit, those things are great, but my favorite part of college is definitely the beautiful new group of friends that I've made here! (I'll write more about them later)
People always say that college is a huge step towards becoming "who you are," but I think it just takes a huge shift in your life - like college - to help you realize what matters most. Once you realize the things that matter most in life, it's easy to be yourself. And once you know who you are, you get to experiment and see what kinds of things you want to pursue with your life. There are so many options! And college is a really cool place to try out the different options. Tomorrow I think I'm going to try out being a pyromaniac... Just kidding :) All that to say, I've learned a lot of important things the last few months being here at college, but I'm still me. And I can't wait to find out what else I'll discover down this road. I'll keep you posted!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
La Vita È Bella!
La vita è bella in Italian means "life is beautiful!"
My Italian grandma (my Nonna) has lived with my family and I for about 5 years now. She is 91 years old and a real trip! She's about 4'3" with short, curly, white hair and a big panza (stomach) that doesn't fit her tiny body at all! She loves to give and get kisses and most of all she loves when she is all together with the people she loves! She might be 91, but I'll be the first to tell you she's sharp! She's basically a math whiz and she still remembers almost everything!
Whenever I have gotten to have long talks with Nonna she's always shared her wisdom with me. We both grew up in completely different places with completely different standards, but there are some lessons that never go out of date. Nonna and I have had talks on any number of things - modesty, school, marriage, trusting God, obeying parents - Nonna has advice on all of it! And sometimes, when I was too exhausted to try to communicate with her in Italian, I would just sit on the floor at her feet and rest my head on her lap and let her stroke my hair with her little, weathered hand.
Three weeks ago, Nonna had a minor stroke. My mom found her in the morning on the ground and in complete confusion complaining of pain everywhere. They rushed her to the emergency room and a few hours later found out it had been a stroke that rendered her so. For me, the news completely wrecked me. It was the day of the final dress rehearsal for my last high school musical. I found out the period before I was supposed to go take a big AP biology test, but none of it mattered at the time. My Nonna was at the emergency room and all I could think about was how I could get to her fastest. I took that AP bio test in about 10 mins flat and quickly drove to the emergency room.
My mom told me that Nonna had been really out of it all morning, but when I came to see her, she talked with me just like always! She told me several times I had to eat (typical Italian that she is!) and smiled and sang Italian songs with me as doctors and nurses whirled in and out talking with my mom and uncle. Then it was time to examine Nonna a little more. And of course, all of the doctors had some kind of foreign accent, be it Indian or Chinese, etc. But none of them spoke Italian! The only language Nonna was understanding at that point. They tried to get her to do things, but she had no idea what they were saying - my mom and uncle didn't even understand and they were all speaking English!
After the long, grueling processes in the emergency room, we finally got Nonna a real room in the hospital. She wasn't eating, she wasn't talking, she wasn't smiling. I went to see her everyday, even the days when I had my play at school, and I was heartbroken every time I visited, having to see her so unhappy. Finally after her time at the hospital, we got her moved to an assited living center for therapy. It's there where Nonna is right now. The first night there Nonna didn't fall asleep until three in the morning. I know this because I stayed with her all night. She couldn't sleep, she kept having to go to the bathroom, she was too hot, she was confused. Everyday since then, Nonna has gotten better and better and now talks with me more and more just like old times! She still isn't eating like she's supposed to, but who can blame her when you see the food they're giving her there! My relatives all cater to her and when she says she doesn't want to eat they don't force her, but I'm not like that. I need her to eat so she can be strong again to come back home. I miss her. So when I'm there, I make her eat the whole bowl of pasta that we bring from home! She doesn't eat for anyone else, but she eats for me! And when she goes to bed, I lay down next to her until she falls asleep. My uncle tells me not to baby her in that way and to let her go to sleep by herself, but the truth is she doesn't need me there. I need her! I need to see her smile at me before she closes her eyes. I need to feel her stroke my face as she turns on her side to sleep - just like how I sleep. She's my Nonna, and I still need her!
I've had her around for forever, but it's so easy to take a beautiful thing in life for granted. I've taken her presence in my life for granted for a long time, but I couldn't ever do that again. My Nonna is more than just the woman who I was named after, she is my principessa bella, mia gioia, mio sole, mia vita! Nonna helps me everyday to see how beautiful life really is. I love my Nonna and my Nonna loves me, and all she has taught me will follow me throughout my whole life!
My Italian grandma (my Nonna) has lived with my family and I for about 5 years now. She is 91 years old and a real trip! She's about 4'3" with short, curly, white hair and a big panza (stomach) that doesn't fit her tiny body at all! She loves to give and get kisses and most of all she loves when she is all together with the people she loves! She might be 91, but I'll be the first to tell you she's sharp! She's basically a math whiz and she still remembers almost everything!
Whenever I have gotten to have long talks with Nonna she's always shared her wisdom with me. We both grew up in completely different places with completely different standards, but there are some lessons that never go out of date. Nonna and I have had talks on any number of things - modesty, school, marriage, trusting God, obeying parents - Nonna has advice on all of it! And sometimes, when I was too exhausted to try to communicate with her in Italian, I would just sit on the floor at her feet and rest my head on her lap and let her stroke my hair with her little, weathered hand.
Three weeks ago, Nonna had a minor stroke. My mom found her in the morning on the ground and in complete confusion complaining of pain everywhere. They rushed her to the emergency room and a few hours later found out it had been a stroke that rendered her so. For me, the news completely wrecked me. It was the day of the final dress rehearsal for my last high school musical. I found out the period before I was supposed to go take a big AP biology test, but none of it mattered at the time. My Nonna was at the emergency room and all I could think about was how I could get to her fastest. I took that AP bio test in about 10 mins flat and quickly drove to the emergency room.
My mom told me that Nonna had been really out of it all morning, but when I came to see her, she talked with me just like always! She told me several times I had to eat (typical Italian that she is!) and smiled and sang Italian songs with me as doctors and nurses whirled in and out talking with my mom and uncle. Then it was time to examine Nonna a little more. And of course, all of the doctors had some kind of foreign accent, be it Indian or Chinese, etc. But none of them spoke Italian! The only language Nonna was understanding at that point. They tried to get her to do things, but she had no idea what they were saying - my mom and uncle didn't even understand and they were all speaking English!
After the long, grueling processes in the emergency room, we finally got Nonna a real room in the hospital. She wasn't eating, she wasn't talking, she wasn't smiling. I went to see her everyday, even the days when I had my play at school, and I was heartbroken every time I visited, having to see her so unhappy. Finally after her time at the hospital, we got her moved to an assited living center for therapy. It's there where Nonna is right now. The first night there Nonna didn't fall asleep until three in the morning. I know this because I stayed with her all night. She couldn't sleep, she kept having to go to the bathroom, she was too hot, she was confused. Everyday since then, Nonna has gotten better and better and now talks with me more and more just like old times! She still isn't eating like she's supposed to, but who can blame her when you see the food they're giving her there! My relatives all cater to her and when she says she doesn't want to eat they don't force her, but I'm not like that. I need her to eat so she can be strong again to come back home. I miss her. So when I'm there, I make her eat the whole bowl of pasta that we bring from home! She doesn't eat for anyone else, but she eats for me! And when she goes to bed, I lay down next to her until she falls asleep. My uncle tells me not to baby her in that way and to let her go to sleep by herself, but the truth is she doesn't need me there. I need her! I need to see her smile at me before she closes her eyes. I need to feel her stroke my face as she turns on her side to sleep - just like how I sleep. She's my Nonna, and I still need her!
I've had her around for forever, but it's so easy to take a beautiful thing in life for granted. I've taken her presence in my life for granted for a long time, but I couldn't ever do that again. My Nonna is more than just the woman who I was named after, she is my principessa bella, mia gioia, mio sole, mia vita! Nonna helps me everyday to see how beautiful life really is. I love my Nonna and my Nonna loves me, and all she has taught me will follow me throughout my whole life!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
A Girl Named Maggie
For a long while now I've been wanting to start a blog. I want to be a writer when I'm older, and I figured writers always have blogs, right? Well, at least that seems to be a trend I've noticed. Even though I've been thinking about blogging and planning it for a very long time, I never really took the time to start one until now. Maybe it was because I was afraid what people would think if they could read my thoughts; maybe I just didn't want to make the effort to create one. Or maybe I just didn't have anything I felt absolutely needed to be shared before. That's different now. I don't mind what people think, there are just some things I feel I need to write about. And it's all thanks to Maggie.
I go to school with one of the most beautiful young women in the world. Maggie has been my friend since freshmen year, but I have never been more grateful for her than I am this year! Maggie is the kind of girl who loves you no matter who you might be. She genuinely cares about you and even your most insignificant problems! She makes you laugh and smiles with you when you feel great, and she comforts you with the most sincere empathy when you feel like you're going to cry. She always knows what to say in any given situation, and she never hesitates when putting other people before herself! She might seem too good to be true, but she's not! Honest, I just talked with her not 2 hours ago!
I only tell you this much about Maggie because she's the reason that I'm writing this blog in the first place. Like I said before, I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I never had anyone or anything compelling me to write. However, when you have a friend like Maggie inspiring you every other minute, you just have to write about it!
I guess life is like that a lot of the time. We have these great ideas or plans, but never do anything about them! Opportunities sit around dormant, just waiting for someone to take hold of them, but we just let them sit there.
As I get closer and closer to the end of my time at high school, I can't help but think back on all the opportunities I missed these past 4 years. The times I should've said yes to something, or the times I should've said no, but I didn't. There's no doing things over, but there is always the chance to do things differently in the future. Thanks to Maggie, I realize just how important it is to make the most of every opportunity, and how much it can positively affect other people when you do. When you choose to love deeper, to care more, and to live with purpose, it does more than just make you feel good. It changes people's lives. Maggie's life has changed mine, and I hope and pray that somehow I can continue that positive chain reaction. This is just the beginning!
I go to school with one of the most beautiful young women in the world. Maggie has been my friend since freshmen year, but I have never been more grateful for her than I am this year! Maggie is the kind of girl who loves you no matter who you might be. She genuinely cares about you and even your most insignificant problems! She makes you laugh and smiles with you when you feel great, and she comforts you with the most sincere empathy when you feel like you're going to cry. She always knows what to say in any given situation, and she never hesitates when putting other people before herself! She might seem too good to be true, but she's not! Honest, I just talked with her not 2 hours ago!
I only tell you this much about Maggie because she's the reason that I'm writing this blog in the first place. Like I said before, I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I never had anyone or anything compelling me to write. However, when you have a friend like Maggie inspiring you every other minute, you just have to write about it!
I guess life is like that a lot of the time. We have these great ideas or plans, but never do anything about them! Opportunities sit around dormant, just waiting for someone to take hold of them, but we just let them sit there.
As I get closer and closer to the end of my time at high school, I can't help but think back on all the opportunities I missed these past 4 years. The times I should've said yes to something, or the times I should've said no, but I didn't. There's no doing things over, but there is always the chance to do things differently in the future. Thanks to Maggie, I realize just how important it is to make the most of every opportunity, and how much it can positively affect other people when you do. When you choose to love deeper, to care more, and to live with purpose, it does more than just make you feel good. It changes people's lives. Maggie's life has changed mine, and I hope and pray that somehow I can continue that positive chain reaction. This is just the beginning!
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